Me: I'm having a moment
Mother: Why, what d'you mean?
Me: Oh, you know - bit of a dodgy moment
Mother: What's happened?
Me: Oh nothing, everything, you know - that stupid feeling you get sometimes
Mother: So you feel...
Me: Nothing. Everything.
Mother: And you want...
Me: ....you to say something amazing to make me forget it
Mother: Oh, dear. You know I'm no good at that stuff.
Me: .....
Mother: What have you been up to today?
Me: Ok, not helpful.
Mother: I cleaned the car out today....
Me: .....still not...
Mother: ...vacuumed it; the full works.
Me: .....
Mother: Hey! You'll never guess what?
Me: Go on then - what?
Mother: quite by mistake, I think I watched 'soft porn' last night...
Me: .....!!!!!.......
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