David!

Mother:  I watched a horrible programme the other day

Me:  right....

Mother:  All about the end of the second world war it was

Me:  hhmm

Mother: and the Bomb and that.

Me:  Right.  Well, it was horrible.  Lots of stuff is.

Mother:  Do you know what upset me the most?

Me:  What's that?

Mother: The shots of people...oh you know, the people...who were behind....imprisoned....in - oh, that place you went...

Me:  Auschwitz?

Mother:  That's it!

Me:  Bloody hell Ma!  How'd you forget that?!

Mother:  Oh I know, memory's terrible.  I was saying to Dave only last weekend - oh gawd, he's asleep here, can you hear him snoring...?   "David!  David"  *Groans heard*  "You're missing it - you're missing your film"  [to me] He's missing his film - you know what he's like

Me: Right, what were you saying?

Mother:  What?

Me:  to Dave, about last weekend?

Mother:  I forget.   "David!  Can you hear me?  You're missing this!"   [to me]  He's put Ben Hur on...

Me: Again?

Mother...again.