Tuesday, 1 July 2014

Liitle Bluey

Mother:  Well you know she was so old, poor old thing

Me:        She failed the MOT?

Mother:   I'll say - it would have cost at least a thousand or more.

Me:         Ah.

Mother:    So anyway, funny little John at the car place - you know John?

Me:         No.

Mother:   Him with the lisp?

Me:         No.

Mother:  Well, anyway, John at the car place he takes me aside you see, and he says, 'Now then Mrs Moore, this old car's being heading to the scrap heap for a long time. But there's a car just at the garage down the road  - on the forecourt - it's perfect for you'.  So off I trot, down the road and sure enough there's a little blue car there with my name on it - just the ticket.

Me:         So you bought it?

Mother:   Yep.  She arrives today.  She's a dear little thing. And a nice shade of blue. So I've called her Little Bluey.

               I did have to take Old Purple for a victory lap, though.  Do you know where I went? I took her all along the cliffs, so she could see the sea - aren't I silly...

Me:         Yes.

Mother    ...and then drove her the country way home, by the rhododendrons.

              But!  You'll never believe it! She's not headed to the scrapheap - she's got a second life. She's going - guess where she's going for her retirement? She's going to be a stock car!

Me:        A Ford-bloody-Estate car that barely starts?!

Mother:  Yeh!  They said they love cars like her - something about 'impact ratio' - or some similar thing.

Me:       'Impact ratio'?  Sounds like she's gonna be crushed, regardless of the scrapheap.

Mother:   Well, at least she'll go out with a bang!

No comments:

Post a Comment